M.M.B.B. (or Miles and Miles of Bloody Blog)

So now whenever I enter Chapters, all the Terrys are sold out. With this in mind it is only a period of time before Hollywood catches the scent and the machine reconfigures itself to crank out some Discworld (new and improved!). I have to get in on this. The main problem being creating a solid plan to break into the biz. I found Drama class to be like, to borrow a phrase, "breathing glue"; I.e. Way too hard when you know there's a simpler way.
My plan so far is to just show up to a few auditions. This leads to the second problem.
There aren't a lot of roles in the Discworld series I'd be suited for. Since I'm an attention madame (Like a whore, but better at it.), I'd need a fairly main piece. My physical appearance is a limitation (so many damn blondes) but well, you know the saying; "If it sucks, throw CGI at it."
Thus my options:

Susan Sto Helit
Pros:
-Awesome costumes
-Badass Character

Cons:
-That hair would keep me in makeup round the clock
-Scar makeup
-delivering lines to a CGI skeleton 90% of the time

Agatha X Nitt
Pros:
-Good hair
-Arguably most awesome plot
-Chance to sing
-work alongside Greebo's Human form (Mee-yow!)

Cons:
-Fat suit
-Greebo likely to be Antonio Bandaras

Delphin Angua Von Uberwald
Pros
-Cool unifrom
-likely to be made into action figure
-two words: Carrot Ironfoundersson

Cons:
-Dog CGI not sexy
-Uberstrong first character = likely to be typecast (Pro or con?)

Maladict/a (something long)
Pros:
-So badass it hurts
-Already have coffee addiction
-Awesome teeth

Cons:
-threat from Veteran's from "overly realistic flashback portrayal"
-Known in Hollywood as a boy
-unconscious for most of climax

Lady Sybil vimes nee Ramkins
Pros:
-Aristocratic
-Jolly fun with swords and attacking people
-Work with Vimes & call Vetinari, "Havelock"

Cons:
-Again, fat suit
-No hair
-Almost eaten by Dragon AND Werewolves

Cheri Littlebottom
Pros:
-Cultural Revolutionary
-High-heeled combat boots
-CSI in olde times

Cons:
-Itchy beard
-CGI to look hobbity

Queen of the Elves
Pros:
-Fabulous slinky wardrobe
-Permanently summer scenes
-PRETTY UNICORN

Cons:
-Lose 60 lbs (skinny B!^@#)
-Lose in the end
-fight crazed axe-wielding bride

I have a few ideas on wellknown actors that could portray other characters:
Samuel Vimes - Hugh Laurie - looks the part and can ACT
Magrat Garlick - Joan Cusack - Seen School of Rock? Straightlaced to wacked. Yes!
Lord Havelock Vetinari - Alan Rickman - Looks good in a chinstrap and in harem pants
Nobby Nobbs - Robin Williams - Hairy enough to be mistaken for a werewolf

On a finishing note Heath Ledger was found dead in an apartment yesterday. This means two things:
1. Batman movie terror level up to orange
2. Brokeback mountain now 50% more accurate

Well, I'd love to stay but some of us have carpets to glue.