A short google later and I feel I've got a pretty good handle on it, red republican elephants, and blue democratic donkeys. A touch Dr. Seuss, but you gotta walk before you run, right?
The helpfully illustrative website I found also included an article on why a man changed from being a Democrat to a Republican. (functionally, for Canadians, going from Liberal to Conservative). At first I got annoyed, then I got angry, then I got pissed. I googled his name; surely this kind of moronic thinking isn't being splashed over the public conscious, is it? Apparently Mr. Dennis Prager has a large career as an opinion writer, including podcasts, shows and columns. There's hope for me yet if a man like this can be employed.
I'll spare Dear Reader from slogging through the entire thing which, I must disclose, did include a few points I agree with such as exploring alternate energy methods.
Let's start with a softball of contention, shall we?
"I believe in American exceptionalism, meaning that (a) America has done more than any international organization or institution, and more than any other country, to improve this world; and (b) that American values (specifically, the unique American blending of Enlightenment and Judeo-Christian values) form the finest value system any society has ever devised and lived by. "
Leaving a) aside because it's purely subjective and difficult to prove, although I have a sneaking suspicion that the Greeks or Romans did more through the Renaissance than America has by exporting Twinkies and skinny jeans, the problem with b) is not that it is arguable the American value system is "the finest" or not, it lies in what precisely that value system IS and what we should do with it. Do they value choice or life? How about free speech or safety? There are trade-offs in every circumstance, and Americans seem to want it all, understandable, but ridiculous.
"I believe that the levels of taxation advocated by liberals render those taxes a veiled form of theft. "Give me more than half of your honestly earned money or you will be arrested" is legalized thievery."
Don't live in America then. You will be paying taxes, any amount of which is "legalized thievery", no matter who is in government. Here he is simply haggling price, which makes him cheap, or frugal if you want to be nice, rather than arguing the principle.
"I believe that the American military has done more to preserve and foster goodness and liberty on Earth than all the artists and professors in America put together."
I think Maya Angelou, Noam Chomsky, and Richard Dawkin might disagree. They would likely disagree by pointing out that $737 billion was spent on military expenditures in 2009, while $45 billion was spent on Education.
"I believe that lowering standards to admit minorities mocks the real achievements of members of those minorities."
Just like how the born-American losers demean the accomplishments of other born-Americans, so you believe in welfare to bring everyone up to an equal level of dignity, right? Oh, wait.
"I believe that government funding of those who can help themselves (e.g., the able-bodied who collect welfare) or who can be helped by non-governmental institutions (such as private charities, family, and friends) hurts them and hurts society."
Typically only if it goes on too long, but a helping hand can be useful. That's why we put the system in place, and then apply strict regulations and guidelines to ensure it doesn't get abused.
"I believe that when schools give teenagers condoms, it is understood by most teenagers as tacit approval of their engaging in sexual intercourse."
Because the first thing on hormone-crazed, sex-obsessed, moronic teenager's minds when they are in a sexually-charged moment is: "Am I allowed to do this?" So we should teach abstinence so they are never put in a sexual situation. Just like Bristol Palin. (Yeah, that was a cheap shot.)
"I believe that marriage must remain what has been in every recorded civilization -- between the two sexes."
He's not even trying here. What about the Greek, Romans, French, or even Native Americans?
"I believe that the trial lawyers associations and teachers unions, the greatest donors to the Democratic Party, have done great harm to American life -- far more than, let us say, oil companies and pharmaceutical companies, the targets of liberal opprobrium."
No lawyer even dumped 4 million barrels of oil into my water. I won't even get started on the number of medications that get pushed through FDA testing to make a profit as the public assumes the risk.
"I believe that a good man and a good marriage are more important to most women's happiness and personal fulfillment than a good career."
Gosh. All this time I've been going to University to earn a degree and do something with my brain, when I could have been truly happy by just finding the right man! Screw being a supreme court judge, my man is all I need!
(I should point out here that I have not omitted anything relevant to this one. He offered no corollary for men requiring a good woman.)
I won't take the easy road and say that English is not a guarantee of intelligence either, but I will point out that information relevant to certain cultures is likely to be published in the culture's language, and therefore people who do not speak English may have a solid notion of who they would like to vote for, ensuring there is no mistaking one candidate for another on voting day, is the reward for having multiple languages.
Anyway, I leave Dear Reader to mull over the fact that this man has a career.
This post was uncomfortable for me for a number of reasons, not least of which is broadcasting my feelings on a number of issues that I know not everyone who reads this blog agrees with. But if I am to continue to expand this blog into a politic arena, I am going to have to put some cards on the table.