Bylaw at Large

Maybe it was a joke. Maybe it was bad reporting, or even just a chance to "laugh at the dumb hicks with their stupid bylaws", but whatever it was, the whole debacle is ridiculous.
I shall assume that Dear Reader is familiar with this piece of reporting that wandered around the airwaves for a while, since everyone wakes with bated breath to see the next installment of The Morinville Shore, which is just like the Jersey Shore, but has less Oompa-Loompas and more parkas. To be fair, the headline reads, "Morinville could ban armadillos, elephants and other 'exotic' pets" which is accurate, since Morinville could. Of course then we could just as easily write an article on how "Edmonton could ban footwear" or "Russia could outlaw happiness", since technically laws could be drafted rendering these things illegal but the implication is that there are steps being taken to move this ban into reality, which, as is the case with Edmonton's non-existent shoe prohibition, is not the case at all.

The bylaw does mention 'exotic' animals, being defined as anything other than dogs, cats, small rodents, small birds, and fish, but only in the form of a completely unimaginative passage directly stolen from the federal regulations surrounding the import and keeping of exotic pets.

 There was a fair crowd at the Morinville City council meeting this evening, and we all settled in for the review of the proposed bylaw, including a few kids, some of whom chattered excitedly about how they owned pet snakes and various other species. I could feel the activist excitement, the ruffling of feathers, and the aura of "City Council has Gone Too Far" that characterizes a lot of typically Canadian rumbling. The council was accommodating, polite and even included a speech by the mayor with a nod to our ilk about how the bylaw was not about banning animals, and had never been about that. It was a mundane bylaw regarding the licensing of aggressive dogs.

The mass exodus that followed the summary of the bylaw was pretty astonishing and I feel bad for those who left because they missed the next item; discussing per Diem allotment for councilors and the difference between committee and commission. Riveting. I plan to attend the next meeting when an official reading of the bylaw will be done, but unless something exciting occurs, I will not bother to write about it.

I think a more pertinent focus for the media should have been on why I am no longer allowed to ride my emu through town (Part 1 line 1.36 and section 502 1.02). I find this unacceptable.