Wednesday, December 01, 2010

Less The Situation; More The Situation Room, please.

Before anything else of import I feel a public service announcement is in order. When you are  frantically running for the LRT doors that are closing, and you achieve your stance right in front of them, there are precious microseconds left, don't push the "door open" button. They don't give a crap about you. Those buttons disable two seconds after the train pulls into port and disgorges its load. What you want to do, and yes it is a little scary, is stuff your hand in between the doors. Those suckers aren't going to close and drive off, severing your fingers or dragging you along like a little girl's errant stuffed wubbie. What it is going to do is lose the battle of chicken with your digits and open again. Too many times I have seen polite people run up with the doors about six inches apart, pushing the "open" button, while the doors merrily close and the person is left standing on the platform with a "last turkey in the shop" expression. Just this morning I sprinted for the train myself and the full compartment stared at me as I wedged my fingers into the absolutely minuscule inch left between the doors, and gawked when the doors opened to admit me. Let this be a rule for life, if you don't think you are going to make it, just wedge your fingers on in. (Advice not valid for all circumstances)

Now on to things that matter. (Ha ha, see what I did there? I implied politics matter. Hah.) I hear we're being shown a document that implies the conservatives (which as everyone know, Alberta tends to back that pony) are looking to move towards a two-tiered health care system. This document, tabled July 2010, mysteriously appeared under the Liberals' door in an unmarked brown envelope. Can anyone think of a former-conservative who would have seen the document who might now have reason to back-stab the conservatives with respect to the health care system? Personally I would be interested to see if MLA Raj Sherman moves to the liberal camp in the following weeks. I'm not sure what his division looks like, or if his voters would support him more as an independent or liberal but it is tough out here for an Indy. Especially when you consider this whole exchange in the Edmonton Journal where Sherman confronts the Tories about the documents and asks at what point after he left did they decide to not move forward with the plans? To which Mr. Zwozdesky responded that he didn't know what he was talking about, he wasn't there for that meeting. He also thanks Mr. Sherman for his input on the document. Whether it is on the leaked document or not is unclear. Let me translate this to reality show talk: "Guys you were totally making faces behind Alberta's back!" "Nuh-uh! No we weren't!" "Yes you were, I was there, I saw you!" "Yeah, well, you were making faces too!" and cue twenty minutes of back and forth nattering.

The document talks about finding alternative sources of payment for "non-essential services". No word on what that means but boy do I ever hope it means I can start trading banana bread for professional massages. "Hey if you chiropractor my back, I'll do your nails!" (Is chiropractor a verb? It sure is now!)
It mentions the possibility of limiting out of province or out of country services which I would not support at all. When I was involved in a violent car accident over in Ontario while on a road trip I didn't stop being covered by Alberta health care; I was still an Albertan so fix me, dammit. If they were going to, they should be providing better sources of travel insurance so those who can not afford a heavy financial loss because they decided to do the running of the bulls (So awesome!) can cover their collective butts. As it stands now I don't even have the faintest clue what type of regulations are surrounding providing travel insurance.

I assume the province could regulate this kind of thing but I think they're too busy regulating beer instead. Yes, it's true, Alberta has banned beer that has an alcohol content of over 11.9% which was stupid because any beer higher than that is usually around $10 a bottle, so it's not something every idiot picks up to get wrecked, it's just regulating high-end crafted beer. Thank goodness we have the government holding our hands to protect us from good beer (I use this term loosely, I have yet to meet a beer I like.)

One final note; the "How to Survive a Cookie Exchange" article on the Edmonton Journal's website is not actually about tips on how to talk to journalists, they are talking about exchanging cookies with coworkers. I was disappointed.

1 comment:

Anonymous said...


Note, though, that the feds frown on businesses "trading" services as it cuts out that pesky GST thing the business normally remits on everything it sells.

lol, mapa