Monday, November 29, 2010

Wikileaks? Put on Your Adult Diapers.

It would only come as a surprise to the egotistical Americans that Canada has a bit of an inferiority complex. Canadians are unimpressed. The complex they speak of comes from the fact that they think Canada piggy-backs on the coat-tails of their accomplishments and commitments. They feel we never really do anything because they only hear about our efforts and accomplishments when it is of interest to American readers; i.e. when it directly involves the U.S. I recall reading one anonymous person's comments about why should Americans give assistance to other countries when the U.S. was able to get itself out of trouble after hurricane Katrina, and another poster curb-stomping him with the fact that dozens of countries had given the U.S. charity, including Cuba, who is not on good terms with the U.S. to say the least. But that's exactly the American mind-set; If it didn't happen to us or because of us, no-one cares.

We've lived in the shadow of the Colossus for a while and it's tended to give us a bit of a "tiny-man" syndrome, but that doesn't mean we're embarrassed about it. Politicians are tripping over themselves to reassure everyone that it won't change the relationship we have with the states but all in all, who would care? We have kind of a Harry-Ron thing going on (I was going to use the Lone Ranger and Tonto, but I'm not quite sure what their dynamic is, to be honest). It's true Harry might be more famous and is definitely louder, but that doesn't mean we don't have our own hopes, dreams and goals, not to forget accomplishments. As one official has said however, "digging into diplomatic underwear is not a nice business". That's only true in two cases: 1) if you are expecting  balls and don't find any or 2) you are not expecting balls and find a really hairy pair.

The moral of the story? Nothing. This isn't going to change a damn thing. Because it doesn't really matter. Okay so some officials think some other officials are doofuses and weiners. It's not going to change how the countries interact, they've got policy for that. It might make for some awkward conversations, but that's hardly a country's concern and from the sound of it (Prince Andrew's colorful rant about foreigners that is apparently patriotic in the neurotic sense of the word) they've been having awkward conversations since someone noticed it makes you popular to be funny and it makes you funny to pick on the fat kid that wheezes. Canada is going to just keep on trucking in the semi-embarrassed, overly-polite, backstage fashion that we do, regardless of the fact that it makes the U.S. think we're sissies.

At least we're not Berlusconi, who had to tell everybody that he only throws dignified parties ("Seriously guys, c'mon! Totally classy!")and I am *dying* to find out what a "bunga bunga" party is... 

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