Friday, April 01, 2011

Post on the Run: Part 1

Sorry if this post seems hasty, It has been a long day already. We were awakened this morning by a brutal knocking on the door, someone really hammering in an overly authoritarian fashion, and we stumbled downstairs in housecoats and slippers to answer what we were sure was of critical importance. I assumed the worst - I am prone to fatalism - but Victor was sure it was some mundane mail issue. It was only when he noticed the cherry-blue lights outside that he began to sweat in the same way I did. I remember the officer doffed his hat slightly when we opened the door, but he didn't seem the slightest bit sorry or respectful.
"You've left your Christmas lights up, folks. I'm afraid I am authorized to give you a five hundred dollar fine for failure to remove Holiday paraphernalia before the city of Edmonton has deemed it necessary. New Christmas bylaw."
Victor and I blearily stared at each other, wondering if he was joking, before turning back to him.
"We don't really have a ladder, we just left them up from the last owners of the house and just turn them on during the season."
He didn't seem to care much, just said,
"I'm afraid that's not good enough, guys. If you are unable to remove the decorations in a timely fashion, I have the authority to take you in."
We protested but he waved over a large group of officers, and I realized they were serious. Victor and I negotiated to at least change out of our pajamas before we were arrested, and we invited the officers to relax in our newly renovated living room while we dressed.
Upstairs, we hatched a desperate plan. We grabbed the backpacks, conveniently left loaded for camping, quietly opened the window, and ditched out of the house.
We've been on the run for the greater part of the morning now, and already we've seen wanted pictures up - I look like an idiot though, little chance anyone will recognize us. Anyway, I can't disclose our location, but we wanted to let our families know we are safe, but have no intention of going down for this. Not us. Oh no.
Anyone wishing to leave us rations can leave them in the second dumpster by the T&T supermarket at West Edmonton mall until the second week of April. After that, we'll be out of state. We've got a man to see about a snow globe.

1 comment:

Andreanna said...

I'll see if I can leave you some books to read with the rations. Look for a red ribbon with turkeys.