Friday, February 11, 2011

Canada to Take Running Start at Brick Wall

What happened to Canada's good name?
From the lost security seat on the UN, the whistler dog tragedy, the European ban on seal meat imports, the campaign against our oil sands, to the fact that we cannot make up our mind on staying in Afghanistan or not (thus pissing off people that want us to leave AND stay) it is clear that we are getting a bum rap in the international news circuits lately.

There is no point in stamping our feet about the security position anymore (that is gone like Brittany's career), I already think any international dispute about the oil sands can kiss my butt, and we only need to come down hard on the dog-killing doofus to gain face there, but the seal meat ban is a problem. A recent challenge has gone from the federal government to the World Trade Organization to appeal their May, 2009 decision to ban the import of seal meat, a ban which some people estimate costs Canada $2.5 million a year just in straight revenue, let alone lost jobs and slackening industries (No word on the boost to "cute seal picture calender" companies).

Although I am the first one to advocate ass-kicking when it comes to Canadian sovereignty (I had my heart surgically altered to resemble a maple leaf - I occasionally black out, but it was totally worth it!), the problem is we missed the big "bad-guy" paint brush. We could fight the ban, even have it removed, but without the demand for the product, it is so much waste time and effort. Ordinarily, when a ban is imposed, you see a surge in demand as people rush to stock pile the good prior to the ban; with seal meat, however, the demand had dropped precipitously even before the imposition. Canada was totally rejected by a country that eats horse meat. This is worse than that time in 6th grade you caught your crush sniffing his own underwear but you still liked him so you asked him out anyway, and he just pushed snow in your face and told everyone in the class that you smelled funny.

But who can blame them? I mean, even here at home we are sniffing our own underwear...I mean, refusing to eat seal meat; why are we expecting different from the Europeans just because they don't shave? If we can not even support our own industry, it is rude to impose on others to do so. The worst part is the people suffering the ill effects are not some corporate fat cats (I have always wanted to use that phrase) in an ivory igloo; it is the average worker in Newfoundland and Labrador, the average Inuit who relied on the trade for income, in other words, it is just the average Canadian. The federal government wasting its time appealing decisions that were approved 550-49 when, even if successful, they will do no good, is ridiculous, no matter how hard the government bleats about the fact that the decision was based on "emotions" rather than rational thought. That door has closed, stop calling, stop texting, and stop sitting outside their window playing "In your eyes". It is so over.

In international news, Hosni Mubarak has stepped down. Go on, protesters, strut like an Egyptian!
Today, the proudest boast is: Little man, squiggle, squiggle, sun, eye, dancing lady, sitting dog!

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