So I've napped twenty minutes in the desperate hope of convincing my body or brain that it is now morning, that I'm not tired at all, that this is a normal day. I think the blackness around my head confuses it, but otherwise, it's duped.
I've fooled my body.
I'm not sure this makes me happy or not.
Animethon has passed this weekend. The chaos, excitement, and hope of it makes me desperatly want to be a part, and I think I annoy more then a few people in my attempt to assist. I vow to volunteer (or even staff) next year.
I've biked to work, 2 in the morning, on the empty, soothing, road. Somehow, the glee of conquering the angry asphalt that eat tires and spits out fumes wakes me. It might be the cold. By the time I hit work, I'm feeling cocky.
The officer I'm replacing will work again at the end of my shift, so he grabs his well-loved star wars pillow and heads for the quiet nurse's office. He's a good man. I like him.
It's just me and the radio, the empty foyay making my typing loud enough to sound responsible, maybe even legitimate? I'd taken my contacts out for an hour or two previously to this, but now they scratch, and there's a muscle between my shoulder blades that won't unclench.
Despite all this, I'm quite euphoric. Might be the coffee, might be the memory of the weekend my boyfriend and I spent, which could have easily proven disasterous, but seems to have worked out, in the weird way our things seem to resolve, leaving me feeling hopeful, and sated.
I still recall the cotton hakima pants and top that my friend lent me, to emulate Kikyo from "Inuyasha", an anime I enjoy. Channeling Kikyo, I felt bolder. Perhaps it was the lengthy black wig, covering my face (anonymity is a friend to many), or the knowledge that the outfit was worn by so many before in history, connecting the motions I make to the long-ago tales, the yellow,worn, pages of antiquity, which always seem so insubstantial; Whatever the cause, I am acutely aware of the steps I take forward in my life. This awareness makes it difficult to not run, since charging headlong is not the best idea for now, when caution, patience, and sense are my closest friends.
Anyway, I can learn.