Wednesday, April 30, 2008

Tongue may have to be surgically removed from cheek

There are few things I like more than a good rainstorm.
One thing I like more is coming out of a workout so good my knees are vibrating, into a rainstorm.
The first rain of spring makes a sound like a violin and piano in perfect harmony and makes everything glisten like emeralds. Today has been a blessing of perfect timing and fortunate coincedence. It must have been on such a day that the first caveman rolled a rock down a hill and thought, "hey...". On such a day Newton decided to smell the fresh grass under a fruitful tree. On this day Columbus set sail. (well, two outta three)
I have compelling reasons to believe that I am the happiest woman on earth.

What a shame I shall have to give up the gym.
No, no wails nor tears shall sway me. I heed them not. It was decided today after a discussion with an acquaintance.
He was telling me how he planned to get fit for an upcoming trip and I enquired about his routine, since he was a novice, and I've been fortunate enough to pick up a few tricks here and there. He gave me a rough rundown (Chest, arms, back, etc.) I suggested a few things and he brushed them off, asking where I'd heard such stuff. I replied that I went to the gym regularily and avidly sought out sources of information on proper techniques. He bravely countered that I went "just to lose weight, right"? When I voiced that my main perogative was to gain muscle, he informed me that,
"Girls that are big are gross."
I laughed a little, made polite other conversation and moved on, but the doubt, lingered...
Have I been scaring away potential suitors with my ham-like quads? (Yes, I always compare my muscles to food.) Could I be possible that every foot I set in a gym diminished my pool of soulmates? (Yep. It's a pool.)
Say it is not so!
So to my squats I say, "away"!
I shall be dead 'er I lift again!
Never shall I clean and jerk, else I shall never find my own clean jerk!

Now if you'll excuse me, I have a class on Fainting to Frame your Dress to Best Effect.

In other news, enjoy the beautiful weather. I'm thinking picnic time!

3 comments:

Anonymous said...

Yah ... I'd say stick with the gym, dump the acquaintance!
lol, mapa

Michelle Ernst said...

Did you guys find this one a little heavy-handed? I'm still not entirely happy with it, but I'm not sure why. (kinda feels a little too bitter without a point?)

Love
Michelle

Anonymous said...

I wouldn't say heavy-handed or bitter, though the first time I read it I was a little concerned that you literally meant to give up going to the gym.
Maybe a little more like a personal letter than a "piece of writing", if you know what I mean.
lol, mapa