Things are good in my life right now.
Which makes me nervous.
I've long believed that things, moods and fortunes especially, balance. Sometimes I try to be miserable all day if I know the evening is important.
So good moods come with a sense of trepidation.
It's worse if I cannot find some bad to equal a good; what if someone is suffering for me?
The ultimate torture is to struggle on my behalf, and never allow me to make amends. In defence of my sanity, I adopt willfull ignorance about the origin of my clothes and food.
Even my heritage reflects this blend of oppressor to oppressed. Although, given enough history, whose doesn't?
I think nightshift might be robbing me of my ability to speak to people. I used to take after my dad, who has an innate ability to connect with strangers after about 5- 10 minutes. Every time I open my mouth now, a jackass comes out. (not to mention my main conversational partner is my roommate, a man who makes Dr. House look like Richard Simmons; although, he cut his hair and got a job today, while all I accomplished was to flood the kitchen and ruin my nails.) Perhaps this is my penance? For good fortune elsewhere, I will be alienated most everyone I speak to.
Perhaps I should stop whining and get out more?
Tomorrow holds the exciting prospect of a Dodgeball game. I'm heading out to watch, possibly even participate, in a dodgeball game with a team, coached by my boss, aptly named, "Dodgeystyle", (a name which causes me to stop and giggle uncontrollably for as long as 6 minutes at a time)Assuming I don't physically assault or offend anyone, this holds the promise of being an interesting social event!
Good luck to me!
(In anticipation, I have purchased a keg of Red Bull. Even if I fail at socializing, I should have some...insightful stories.)