Wednesday, March 07, 2007

This will tottally help you get to know me

High School: School of hard knocks

Junior High: Kindergarten of getting the shit kicked out of me
Favorite Soda: I'll have none of your damned carbonate crap!! only heathful shit for me! or booze...
Favorite fruit: anything really crunchy. Like a lightbulb. Are lightbulbs fruit?
Favorite weather: Rain on a day I have tiny easy errands to finish. Like graves to dig.
Like someone: broiled.

Want more piercings: I cried like a little bitch when I got my ears pierced. so, yah.

Want a tattoo: A full body, Life-size tattoo of me, only taller.

Last person talked to/texted on the phone? I don't really text people when I'm talking to them.
Blue or red?: My steaks red, my smurfs blue, and my questions less ambiguous

Do you speak a different language?:I speak acceptable french, Sign quite effectivly, and speak enough Chinese to order food.
How old do you act?: Like a 3 legged race between an 70 year old women and a 9 year old boy
Do you have any pets? A few friends, wait... do you mean housetrained? No, then.

The 4 W's Questions:
Whos in the room with you? Depends on what religon you subscribe to...
What was the last thing you ate?: Deep-fried mars bar
What was the last thing you drank?: Badly deep-fried mars bar

What color pants are you wearing?: Who needs pants when you've got rogaine?
What is the closest item near you that is blue: My 10 year old honduran boy, but he'll give up soon.
What instant messaging service do you use?: Smoke signals
Where do you sleep?: K. Getting creeped out again. wid da fishes!
Where did you get the shirt you are wearing?: Your binocs can't see the tag? shame sha

__Which is Better With The Opposite Sex __

Cute or pretty: Male.
Lips or Eyes: Eyes properly cooked, Lips in a salad tho.

Hugs or Kisses: Having my hair petted on a bus.
Short or Tall:Tall enough to change the lightbulbs.
Easygoing or serious: Easy enough to sleep with, serious enough to do it well.
Romantic or Spontaneous: like spontaneous combustion?

Muscular or Skinny: Skinny enough for me to fold into my luggage.

Hook-up or Relationship: Depends on how much GHB I have...

Sweet or Caring: Are these opposites?

___Have You Ever___

Drank Bubbles?: Does tossing someone's salad count? How about if it was frothy? (sorry, that was bad)

Lost glasses/contacts: Nope. But I've found a couple. You just pop those suckers in your mouth for a sec or two, and then they're fine!
Broken Someones Heart?:Physically or metaphorically?
Had your heart broken?: Do heart murmurs count?

___Do You Believe In___

God: If he's listening, yes, yes I do.

Miracles: I've been proposed to twice. what do you think?
Love At First Sight: First sight is the only place unfettered love CAN exist. once you get to know someone... crap shoot.
Aliens: Alien what? plantlife? certainly. Bacteria? without a doubt. Sentience? Dunno.

Magic: Just cuz you know how it's done doesn't make it not magic.

Heaven: what else could you call Saturdays?

Hell: What else could you call a wasted Saturday?

Horoscopes: They work. Is that real then? People believe them. They are cultivated to be true no matter what.
Boogers: As a metaphor for existential philosophy, yes. As a food group, no.

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