Nothing much

This blog post is best read to "Fill me in" by Craig Daivd
I've been in a strange mood lately. Like sex and warm candy, with cold stars in it.
I feel like violence, and hurting people, but also like being very nice, and sweet.

This is probably all due to the "week" I'm currently in, but I'm also trying desperatly to find who I really am, and what I really want to do with the rest of my life. I'd like to be in the military, but as what, I'm not sure. I would like to have some effect on the world, in a larger intellectual capacity, but how? I don't think Graduate school would be a sensible idea at this point, since I find it difficult to take university seriously, and Grad school is fairly intensive. Also, if I discover I don't want to do anything with Psychology, it will be a fabulous waste of money.

So far, with my current mood, it appears I am best suited for a career as a serial rapist...
Perhaps something in a more artistic capacity? I must confess, the only reason I didn't go to Fine Arts at Grant MacEwan is because my sister had done it previously, but somehow, the thought of learning to make art makes me weep. But I have a few ideas for paintings, I would love to teach dance, Few things make me as happy as writing, and I have thoughts on a couple sculptures. Perhaps a joint career in the military with Artistry as a hobby?
It's a thought.

After spending all Saturday with my sister and her rapidly-getting-bigger son, my nephew, I'm starting to become more and more sure I should never have children. Ever. I'm largly incompetant with them, and I think that I would not be able to devote the time to them that they require. but many of my friends believe that I would be a fabulous mother.

I just would like time to stop so I can take a serious look around, and decide a few things.

There's also a frustrating situation developing with my emotions and a person. I won't detail it, since no-one really cares. (Well, that's untrue, but the people who do care are already briefed.) But, suffice to say, it's causing a few sleepless nights, and more than a few daydreams, and even more serious self-evaluations. Why must people be so confusing? Worse, why must my expectations, and thoughts about people be so confusing? There should be a place, like Babelfish, where you can insert conversations and it would spit out what everyone is really saying, and how everyone really feels. None of this guessing crap. Just straight out; A, B, C.

Anyway, that's that, this is this, and everything will develop.
I don't want this to be construed as whining, because I am fascinated with this whole life I have, but it does bear thought, and require some attention.