Wednesday, December 07, 2005


God, my head just never stops. Damnit.
I've been thinking about Fate, and Destiny. I've never really believed in it, or else it will really drive me mad, but here goes:
On a chance, I switched classes from Anthro to Phil 120, this class became the breakthrough in my career (at the time), and I met Jared, who convinced me to break up with my current boyfriend (thank God, and not a moment too soon), introduced me to The St. Albert Guys whom shall remain nameless, and helped me aquire a job at his mother's cafe. This summer, when I was fired, was also sort of because of Jared, and one of the St. Albert guys let me know about a job at a military depot. On a spur of the moment, I applied, and was accepted! Working there introduced me to my current boyfriend, and convinced me that I need the military. How can this be a coincedence? Is this sculpted? In space of a half-hour, because of a few minutes lapse of thinking, I lost my cell phone, which helped me realize just how steeped in luxury my life really is. In a five minute mistake in my car a few months ago, I lost $300 for a red light ticket. Had I paused a few seconds upon crossing the street yesterday, I'dve been run over ( probably not fatally) This is all just a huge cosmic dance, and eveyone whirls so close, and so far. It is aimless to ask, "Is this directed?" Any more than you can ask, "Is a dance directed?" Sometimes, yes, sometimes, no. Impulse, planning. Eveything is connected. It helps if you see the world in terms of all people. Yes, I lost my cell phone, but perhaps pawning it helped a starving student buy supper for one more week. But not even just positive, even misery is an intericate dance move, which must be respected and praised just as much. We're all stuck on this little orb, hurtling through space. The rock I throw today may kill one man, whose insurance will save his dying child. There is so much and so little meaning in every second in life.
Chance, fate, luck, destiny. Aren't they all a part of life, in some way?
Consider the far reaching aspects of your life.
Do they mean anything?

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