Happy New Year

Well, it's a new year now.

I dunno.
Was expecting something else, I guess.

Started pretty rocky with some panicking around 2 in the morning, but it seems to have straightened out.

Irritated that I just cancelled one of my paycheques that was MIA, only to come to work and discover it had been picked up and dropped off at work THAT DAY.

I don't feel as witty as I usually do.
Pretty, dumb, actually...

Siiiigh.

Volunteering

WEll, my references all passed the test, I passed the interview, and now sat through training.

The instructor was FABULOUS! So witty and obviously in love with what he does; the training was perfect (exactly what I needed, and not one thing more then necessary)and he made it all relevent, light-handed (even with some more sobering topics), and humerous.

I highly recommend volunteering.

Other then that, my CPO designation will have to wait till january. Darnit, and I had those buisness cards all made up;
"Michelle Ernst, BA. CPO. Solider of fortune and Outrageous liar"

Last big thing being christmas. Can't wait for family to arrive, then the holidays really start!

haiku two

painful cord
no sword could ever
sever?

"Thief" he says; say I,
"Think not of value judgements,
but of needs met."

The bright sky’s eye sees
Our bodies wrapped into twine
The world sees one eye

lucky cricket
tangled bed sheets
one and two are i

haiku

try out my hand
clapping out the syllables
make me sweat

sun on fat drops
lick the water pavement
perfect peace

we paused for stars
short hours later
metal dead

change and hope
glass and fruit
chew carefully

OH BOY OH BOY!

Christmas soon!

A pithy thought to mull over mulled cider:
Do you ever have difficulty figuring out if a question is rhetorical or not?

Seriously though, there is one saying which never fails to confuse me;
"That which does not kill me, makes me stronger."
Where do bubble-baths fit in? They don't really do either. Or chocolate chip cookies? I propose a change,
"That which does not make me stronger, kills me."
In the respect that if something is not helping you improve, or grow, it is slowly contributing to your downfall.
Boy. I feel smart today. :)

Anthem of a Reluctant Prophet

New novel I'm reading. Very well done.

Sometimes, when things strike me, and change, it doesn't ever really feel like I'm changing. It feels like I'm being reminded, remembering. Like a dance I was taught years and years ago, and my body is just remembering the steps. Being introduced again to an old friend, falling into the easy pattern of familarity. Like life is one long connection, the circles coming full, making sense only later. I wonder what else this dance holds?

If comics are any indication...

The thing I'm going to like the most about the future is the food.
No, I'm serious. Read "Transmetropolitan" and tell me some of that food doesn't sound crazy good. Or My second favoritest webcomic, "Templar, Arizona":

"I'd like a coke, please."
"Honey Garlic, Cayenne Chocolate, or Yogurt Plum?"

Oh yes.
Perhaps it is simply that I can not identify with the subject's lifestyle, it being so strange from my own, but Eating is somewhat universal. I cannot guess what it tastes like, but I can speculate.

Maybe I'm just writing this post because I believe everyone should read Transmet and Templar.
Oh well.

Enough is the hell enough.

I work nights. It's true. I am up from midnight to eight in the morning.
I am also heavily involved in several other endeavors in my life including Kung Fu, Police volunteering, and Secretary of animethon. I'm pretty busy. I don't usually get a lot of sleep. Sleeping during the day makes it especially tempting to cut short my sleeping hours to get more things done during daylight hours.

When, however, did it become socially acceptable, even considered "a joke", to tell me I look tired?!
I don't tell people when they look ignorant, or hungry, or anything else wrong, but at least once a day a person I don't know will say, "You look tired.".

I actually make the effort to do my hair, make sure my uniform is clean and tidy, and make sure my manner is bright, and pleasant.

So Why the hell do people tell me this?!

And how the hell do I respond?! My usual response is, "I'm fine, thank you, how are you?" But I think perhaps it is time for a crusade against this rude casual remark. I wish I could respond with, "and you look stupid, but in a minute both of us will look angry."

Siiigh. What I wouldn't give for a mandatory "social graces" course.

Flames to dust, Lovers to Friends, why do all good things come to an end?

STOP TRIVIALIZING THE LADY SHORTCAKE! SHE DOES NOT ACCEPT YOUR PUNY ATTEMPTS AT HUMOR! Her reign will rule over all in a flood of sugary tears and gnashing of cavity filled teeth! At her right hand, Mistress Muffin will march forth with a licorice fist to crush the uprising! The seas will boil to deep fry all who resist!Their families will be baked in the heat of the desert, then frosted and devoured! The world shall be razed, and used as a mixing bowl to further refine the treacle mined in the pits of other planets! All shall work until they are consumed! Then you will know the true power of Strawberry! AND DO NOT SQUEEZE THE PROPHETESS CHELLE! SHE IS THE BEARER OF THE WORD MADE ICING! DAMNIT STOP LAUGHING!

On a more serious and happy note; I have an interview with the police force for Saturday to determine my suitability for volunteering with them. They have even started to pohone my references. I'm so excited!!

By the pricking of my thumbs,

These past few days have been running. Constant running.

I seem to have fallen off the edge of my little paper world, and I'm not sure where to find it again, twisting in this void.

I sense a looming something. I have that feeling of change, like glass and fruit in my mouth. I'm not sure what, or where.

There was a pinpointable moment, when I missed my connection bus day before yesterday, when a violin string was prepped, and now it is just spooling out, gaining in tension, and all I can do is be on guard for when it snaps.

Perhaps it is the change in weather that effects my mood. The snow makes me think logically, but angrily. A sort of frigid villiany. I am happy, don't mistake me, but also aggressive. Like a flame-filled ice-cube.

Othello

I almost forgot.
Othello, the ballet.
Brilliant costumes colored in pink, red, maroon, burgundy, gold, a set which was perfect in it's simplicity featuring airy swaths of fabric suggesting eveything from walls to stormy skies, and the choreography was pleasant. The dancer playing Iago was perfectly heinous. A true villian from his black jerkin to the tip of his gyrating toe. The only character which came close was Casio's love interest, Bianca, who coveyed sheer lust so effectivly, that her applause was loudest, despite having maybe 7 minutes on stage. She sashayed, she strutted, she tango-ed, Hell, I think she may have even rhumba-ed. With two huge flowers in her hair, she frolicked her way on stage, and made off with the audience's heart. The love affair between her and Casio threatened to steal the show were it not for the fact that the main couple was soon to die afterwards.

The only problems; The actor playing Othello wasn't black. The only important detail about the characters at all, and they botch it.
The funny thing was, in the play, Othello suffers from seizures. When Iago convinces him that Desdemona is cheating on him, he has a fit. I assumed this would be conveyed in subtle dance tones, and perhaps imaginative lighting. Oh no. Hell no. The actor threw himself on stage and had a seizure. (probably not a real one). I was awestruck. My jury is still out as to whether this was brilliant, or inept.

All in all, totally worth seeing.

Kung Fu

I had always believed that Kung Fu was in fact, a myth. A term made up to describe a child's fascination with "ass-kicking". I have recently come to discover, in my endeavor to learn a martial art, that this is not so.

After attending a few dojos, I found one which suits my liking, at the university of Alberta. The program teaches Wing Chun style Kung Fu (oh you know I feel badass just saying that) and numbers over 50 strong. it is a seriously huge class. I'm gratefied to note that I am not the oldest one present, as was the case with the last class I had attended.

The style itself is rather beautiful, featuring a series of blocks and blows that originate from the sternum, aiming at the opponenet's sternum. It is a style of subtle turns, shifts, and redirection. The blocks become almost effortless. Although it is aimed at being a strictly function, energy-efficient style, they are teaching us a few stances that simply look pretty, and focus one's energy. I have learned so far the: Horse stance (much like riding a horse), Bow stance (Like a lunge at full-forward), the cat stance (all weight on one back, bent leg, the front leg slightly bent and gracefully curved. Crazy tiring), and the monkey stance (consisting of a series of stances and moves which, when put together, look "really bitchin'"). I am sore all over, but I can't wait for the next class. The instructors are patient, and the timing is good; if I am sensible, I can stop at home, from the class, for a half-hour, then depart to catch my bus for work. If I'm not sensible, I can just bring my uniform and lounge in the gym showers for a half-hour or more.

Now to gush like a child;
When I used to watch Mulan, (yes, the disney movie, shush)I loved the shoes they wore for training. Little, black, almond shaped with a gold stripe around the bottom, I thought they were adorable. and, like Kung Fu, I had thought them fake. They totally aren't. Silly me. I need to obtain a pair cause, damn. SO CUTE. Couple them with the uniform of Kung Fu, and I'm sure I'll feel legitimate!

Ah, I jest. I've picked it up remarkably quickly, and the instructor has had only a few brief suggestions during class for me. I feel gratified. :) My next class is tonight, but I may be unable to attend, due to bad timing with my Certified Protection Officer training, which I thought had been moved to Thursday. Now I'm so confused I don't know what's what.
ANYWAY,
More later.

Discworld Guide by Terry Pratchett

I would really love to inflict the Discworld series on everyone I know, but it gets difficult to explain everything about them all to a new reader. So I've banged out this reference to help people make an informed choice about what to read first.
To best select which you should start with, you need to answer a couple questions. His Discworld ones, the most famous and prolific, have several running story lines, all with different themes and feelings. The main ones, and best to start with are: The witches of Lancre, The City Watch, Rincewind, Death and his relatives, or the Industrial Revolution.
The witches’ series is mainly philosophical, with an emphasis on the absurdity of our society and beliefs, and helping to understand our own history of paganism and such. Also focuses quite heavily on morality, (Arguably my favorite brain read). If you read any in order, it is these ones I would recommend to do so; ESPECIALLY the trilogy of Wyrd sisters, Witches abroad, and Lords and Ladies.
The City watch is my current favorite, mostly due to my interest in the military and police work. Focuses on the development of Ankh-Morpork (the main Discworld city), and explores the nature of existentialism, the self, and also Justice. Also includes the bonus character of Vetinari the ruler of Ankh-Morpork, who is arguably the most fascinating character on the Disc. He really steals the show. But then he makes is better, more organized, and sort of gives it back, while still maintaining complete control, and tells you it’s all yours again, but you have to run it exactly how he says because If you don’t, well, nothing bad would happen, but think of your delightful children, and wonderful wife, currently residing at (insert address here)? Wouldn’t they be disappointed in you? Plus he calls himself a tyrant. Rincewind is the best series to start with if you want to understand the climate of the whole Disc. Also discusses the nature of the magic on the Disc and the relationship between our science and the Disc. Includes a focus on the idiosyncrasies of our love for heroes.
Last, but not least, the Death series (ha ha). An all encompassing view of the Discworld (Death himself is present in every novel), with an interest to examining the nature of death, life, the human condition, as well as fate and destiny. Another good series to read in order, as the evolution of the primary two characters, Death and his granddaughter Susan, is quite fascinating. Death actually grows, learns, and changes markedly throughout.
Finally, the Industrial Revolution is a series of books examining the nature of Cities, economics, and, well, revolutions. Also focuses on the development of ankh-Morpork, with a view to the minuet everyday life of the average denizen.

If you wish to start with the Witches, they are the longest running series, starting with Equal Rites, moving into Wyrd sisters, Witches abroad, Lords and Ladies, Carpe Jugulum, then Masquerade, also involving the City watch somewhat, then Wee free men, Hat Full of sky, and Wintersmith. This series includes two short stories I have been unable to locate called “The Little Fish and the sea” and some other one possibly involving pink.
To start the City Watch series, you should begin with Men at Arms, Guards! Guards!, Feet of Clay, Jingo (my longest running favorite), The Fifth Elephant, Nightwatch, then Thud!. If you would like to mesh them, Masquerade would be read in between Jingo and The Fifth Elephant.
The Rincewind novels start with the first Discworld novel, but have not been updated in a while. They begin Color of Magic, The Light Fantastic, Sorcery, Faust (Eric), Interesting Times, The Last Continent, and finally The Last Hero. This series, if read with the Witches, should be read in an alternating fashion. For the witches and wizards meet in Lords and Ladies and there is some confusion over headmasters at Unseen University (the main place for the Rincewind series). Equal Rites should be read after Color of Magic but before Sorcery, as the head Witch takes a trip to the University and meets the headmaster. The Last Hero should be read in between The Fifth Elephant and Nightwatch as it involves a main City Watch character.

The Industrial Revolution series is short, Moving Pictures, The Truth, Monstrous Regiment, Going Postal, then the newest addition, Making Money. This should not be started until after Jingo, Interesting Times, and Masquerade, since it will affect your perception of Ankh-Morpork.

The Death Series, although he is in every book, is primarily: Mort, Reaper man, Soul Music also involving the wizards, Hogfather, then Thief of Time. Soul Music should be read before Interesting Times, and Hogfather should be read after Jingo.

There are a few random books which sort of have an order; Pyramids and Small Gods should be read before Thief of Time, and Carpe Jugulum. The Science books (The science of Discworld I, II, III) can be read any time after The Last Continent. The Amazing Maurice and his Educated Rodents should be read by candlelight in the tub, to achieve the full effect, but other than that, go nuts.

The new spring love

I love
because
sunset is like warm autumn fury,
the clouds like sticky sweet cherubs;
and if I close my eyes , the wind, like a new lover,
whispers me into a newborn child,
amazed at the colors and laughing at the birds.

A preponderance of words

This was just too funny, so I had to post it.

The day after I had written the previous post, complaining that a tank could've fallen on my friend, Mike, and I would never know, he phoned. To say a tank had almost fallen on his friend.
What had happened is, typically mechanics are issued Pistols, rather then the rifles that everyone else, barring clerks, is assigned. However, they had a limited number, so some mechanics had rifles. Apparantly Mike's team had a tank propped up for fixing, when the jack failed, and it began to fall on them. Everyone scattered, except Mike's friend who tripped over his rifle! He managed to pull himself upright and scurry off in time, but wow. Talk about close calls.

(I'd saved this email for a few days, hoping to add to it, but things had just been so crazy that now it's kinda outta date. But I guess my readership won't know it unless I tell them, so I won't...aw crap.)

The opera. Carmen was good. Not fabulous. I realized later, that I'd expected good acting, which is not the point of the Opera. Silly me. But I was already familiar with the music enough that it wasn't a surprise anymore. So.

I managed to get an eye surgery consultation, in which they vouchsafed that, yes, I am admissable for surgery and , holy crap, don't I have big pupils? However, after gushing to a friend that I was admissable, and now I'm well on my way to a police career the following exchange occurred;
Friend: "Where did you go to?"
Myself: "Lasik MD. Why?"
F: "Oh please, don't go there. I hate them so much. My op spends all his time fixing their botched jobs!"
M: "*sigh* information that could've been brought to my attention YESTERDAY!"

But, at least I know now I am okay to get it done. I'll try at some other places first though, and see what they say.

All in all, life is getting marginally better. I have pancakes now, and a strange urge to put random shit into them. like pecans and bananas.

Cat still dumb.

Takin' the training wheels off...

This building is so thin I can hear people cough in the room upstairs. It's useful because I can monitor my surroundings more effectivly, it's discouraging cause, well, when I'm busting out "proud mary" at 3 in the morning, I don't really need everyone critiquing my singing. ( seriously people, It's not meant to be sung well, it's meant to be sung ANGRILY!)

I've my first meeting with a financial advisor tomorrow. I'm less terrified then I thought I'd be, but still aware that it will be 10:30 and I will not have had sleep for a bit, and my body will be all-ready for bed by then. I may have to censor myself heavily.

I also have an appointment with a laser eye surgery clinic in the city to be assessed for my surgery suitability. I'm exacted, but still tense. If I'm disqualified, my Police career will end before it starts as well. I have no reason to be nervous, but I am aware of the possibility for a lot of hurt.

Speaking of hurt. I have a cat. Her name is Xiao-mei (a mess of chinese that I like to think translates to "tiny younger sister". Since the only chinese-speaker I have asked about it thought I had named her Chowmein, I have decided I don't care if it translates well or not) She is, unfortunatly, a bundle of energy wrapped in pointy tiny claws. My arms bare the marks of a thousand flying leaps. She is practically death-defying in her aerial acrobatics to get onto my shoulders. However, she is soothing to me, and relief when I come home and she's there. I managed to clip two of her claws today. Not two paws. Two claws. I consider this a triumph.

In other news, my job is going well. Many prospects for new training, and I've fully adapted to the nightshift now. the new gentleman I am working with is really great to work with, although his english is a tad slow. I've been debating learning some spanish, to help meet him halfway. On the plus side, he's quick to correct himself, and eager to do whatever. I am happy.

I am melancoly however, from missing so many people that are so important in my life; Mike in Wainwright, Tim in Gagetown, Tobe's fallen off the world, Edmund still persistantly in Toronto, my family in High Level. I also haven't even heard from Mike in WEEKS. MIKE, If you are reading this, bloody well call me! You could've had a tank fall on you, and I likely wouldn't know! This makes me grumpy!

The last, most exciting recent new thing is Opera tickets! I have a ticket to Carmen (!!) next Tuesday and Othello (!!!) on November 3. Ohh I'm tingly all over!

Well, that's all. Probably.
Love to everyone who cares to update this.

Vancouver

This past weekend (september 27-30th) I had the good fortune to travel with a group of close friends to the lovely city of Vancouver to see some friends wed themselves.
As is customary for myself, let me gush about the hotel first.
The sunset inn.
Relatively close to everything we needed,and including a kitchen (yes!) a living room and full cable t.v. (more then at home : P) the feature that won me over completely was the bed. It was massive. Seriously huge. The pillows and comforter were like marshmellow spread, except not sticky, and significantly less fattening. It took up almost the ENTIRE bedroom (and yes, there was a seperate room for the bedroom. wonderful!) It was somewhat inconvenient to sneak around in the dead of night when needing to pee, but I think I didn't care.

Thursday night, the night of our arrival, we rented a minivan SUV to ferry 7 of us to the hotel. Even with all our luggage we were only a petite bit cramped. Surprisingly, despite the late hour, we all were pretty restless, and went out for congee (a thick chinese soup characterized by large chunks of green onion on top). This marks the first occasion I have ever had to try ostrich meat. (as far as I recall...). Tasted like beef. moving on.
Friday, despite the forecast of rain, was beautiful. Clear skies marked by lazy fat clouds, warm sun, and a slight breeze. A perfect day for a wedding. After planting a box of viagra on the proposed wedding night bed, we disembarked for Alvin the groom's house. Watching the tea ceremony, where the bride and groom serve tea to the groom's family (serving to the bride's family was a more private affair to which I was not privy) was quite moving. In fact, once it was over, despite the fact that the justice of the peace had not even arrived to make it lawful, it seemed pretty obvious that they were married. the formality and paperwork came later, with my less laughter and fanfare, I think. It was beautiful, the whole ceremony.

The reception took place at Kirin restaurant downtown. I can't even fathom the expense taken to host this. Everyone, all 150-odd guests, was served Shark fin soup. (This is a crazy expensive dish). There were around 12 courses, and I swear I ate until I died, then ate until I was resurrected again. There were speeches, and jokes, and wedding games, and fun. The wedding slideshow of the couple moved me to tears, and the whole evening passed blissfully.
We regretfully called the evening short to race home and undo some of the more odious pranks played on the honeymoon suite (including ice cubes in the bed and the lightbulbs unscrewed); hoping to save the exhausted bride and groom from complete irritation.

The saturday was spent shopping for nicknacks and such, having lunched in a fabulous gay bar which served shepard's Pie that I must have been very good to deserve. The evening was the real treat though. We all joined (all 17 of us) at a sushi restaurant for all-you-can-eat sushi. The bill came to $500. Awesome. Really Awesome. We have some marvellous pictures of Joseph and Alvin smashing sashimi into each other's mouths (I do mean smashing) and I now have the memory of Alvin managing to scoop a whole bowl of jello into his mouth in one swift movement while fending off Joseph. A rousing success. : )

Sunday morning was spent meeting Joseph's Aunt and Uncle for Dim sum. However, I was mildly embarassed when his uncle ordered me a knife and fork. I am still unsure if this was courtesy, or if my chopstick skills are that bad... any insight is welcome.
The afternoon and evening were spent getting home, and harassing each other.

All in all, an incredible trip.
I apologize for the lack of grace in this post, but I'm rather tired, and need to conserve energy for the 7 hour shift still ahead of me.
Love all

Conclusive evidence

Speaking of God,
I now have solid proof that not only does a deity exist, but He also loves me very much and wants me to be happy.

Othello, the ballet, is coming to Edmonton and I can totally afford tickets. And I have the day free. And the dress I bought for vancouver will match flawlessly.

*hyperventilates into paperbag*

It is my favorite Shakespeare. His tragedies have always been an interest of mine, although mostly a passing fancy. Othello, however, was like heaven in misery for me. Brilliant plot, incredible characters, and everyone dies in the end. Perfection. Not only that, but it is certainly the easiest of Shakespeare's to put on stage, since all the action revolves around the characters and one white handkerchief. Simplicity itself.
Ohhh Ecstacy of Brilliance

The Lobby

Sometimes, due to the crazy amount of pressure buildup in this building, when someone opens a door, the wind rushes through in a tremendous hurricane and all I can think is:
"God is passing by..."

Night Shift

Things are going exceptionally well in my new job. I really enjoy it. The slight responsability, the calmness, the few people, the time to catch up on my reading, the time to think about things. It's good pay, with a good chance to move up and very little unpleasantness. I've even adjusted to the strange hours I now demand my body keep. It will happily accept 4 hours of sleep one day, then 9 hours the next. This is good.

Coming up I have a Chinese wedding in Vancouver. I'm relaly excited, and am using it as an excuse to buy myself something pretty to wear with the money I received from selling the Tempo. I'm just not sure what type to buy. Is it too stereotypical to buy a mandarin style dress? Do I care if it is?

I've also decided to pay off my condo and buy my own place in the next three years. It feels good to have a goal in mind. Jared's not a bad roommate, but when I come home,and it's empty and I have the place to myself, I just feel so happy. It's feasible to pay it off in this time, plus by them I'll have had the same job for over 2 years, so I will likely be able to get a mortgage on my own, and hopeful the housing market will have calmed down. I also need to consider when I should get my eyes done, however. I have decided to get lazer eye surgery, as this is the only way I will be accepted into the police force, my vision is so bad. I'm just not sure how to go about it, I know so little about it.

I'll refrain from posting here about my relationships because, right now, they're very confusing, and there's not much I can do that will unconfuse them. It seems right now in life, the best thing I can do is just wait...I'm not very good at this however.

I miss my family terrible though. I hope they come back soon. When is Thanksgiving again anyway?

Stephen is still not walking, despite being over a year old now. He seems to be talking however, "mama" and such. So endearing.

I'm really jealous of all the people starting classes this semester for some reason. I have no idea why. Maybe it's cause I had scarecely considered the idea that one day I would be out of school. It's scary out here.

Anyway.