Tuesday, April 05, 2005

So you like the milf hunters, eh?

Because I love to hear myself talk, I'm doing another post. I can't even imagine what this is going to look like in a few months. Quote Albert Brennamin, Hitch, "you can not stop it.....You can NOT stop it....."
I was thinking, Jeez, I've spaced out so many times, and thought of so many things I would tell the world, If I had the chance, and now I can't think of them all. But this one....

Milf (Mothers I'd like to fuck) hunters. I'm fine with them. Even cougars need to be pursued, and honestly, once I get around my upper 30's, early 40's, I'm gonna want some hot guy chasing me (unless he's yelling that he's got a warrant, and will shoot. I tired of them) well, hell, that'd be nice now, but at least now I have something to attract them with.
But, I digress. The issues I have are with FWLFMs (Ff-wul-fems) which are Fathers who would like to fuck me! Good grief you gross, creepy, old, leering men! Before the howling seniors come at me with cleavers, let me make my point.
It's not cause you're old. Oh, no. If Johnny Depp (isn't he 40 something?) showed up at my door and said "come away with me to be my torrid love slave" (note the lack of comma between "torrid" and "love") I wouldn't even fricken PACK!
The issue I have is that they Mack it, and even when I express polite neutral blankness, they still try! NO, I don't want you to seize my hands and tell me how soft they are! I want you to leave me alone! I won't be your mid-life crisis hot rod affair! Young men should have a higher "that means she wants me to go away" threshold (cause, hey, I don't wanna look like I'm giving it away) and old men should have a very, VERY low threshold! I don't wanna have to crush your tiny heart by saying "I could be your fourth (fourth!!) child's date!"
YUCK!

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